My husband and I have been together for seven years and we are in our mid thirties.  He has always wanted to have children but I have been ambivalent.  He doesn't seem to understand how important my career is to me and we have been disagreeing a lot lately.  However, I know that if we are going to have children we should do it soon, but with us arguing so much, I don't think I want to bring children into the relationship.  I am torn and don't know how to figure this out.

You are at a difficult crossroad and seem to have considered many of the repercussions of your actions.  What will it mean to your life and your relationship if you do have children, or if you don't?  It may be difficult to have a calm discussion of this issue as it seems to be very emotional for both of you.  Would it be possible for each of you individually to create a pro and con list for both having children and not having children?  Take your time with these lists; revisit them over several days or weeks.  Set a time when you and your husband will be able to go over your lists together at a time of day when you are less likely to be stressed or tired.  Agree to be as open to the other's thoughts as possible, and try not to criticize or argue with points the other makes.  See what points you agreed on before discussing where you have differences.  After some time, if the discussion is going well, or possibly at a second discussion, see if you can create a pro and con list together.  This activity may help get you on a more cooperative path, or it may highlight some serious differences in values.  If you are still stuck, consider seeing a couple and family therapist to help you discuss this difficult decision.